"Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that we are able to effect the most profound changes on the people around us." - Rachel Naomi Remen
Huh? What'dya say? I'm sorry I can't hear you there's too much interference! Speak louder - $%%^^&*@#$%%_(*^, hey, I didn't say scream at me...crrrrrrrr - wwwwwhhhhh - pay attention, pay attention, PAY ATTENTION!!! (A conversation with myself.) Can't you just hear it now - the loud roar between my ears? In the not so distant past I couldn't hear myself think much less listen to others. Just for today - of course, through meditation - I am able to listen to the still small voice within and have become willing to listen to you...MY LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT!!!
Many shifts have taken place inside of my being at mid-life. Stilling my heart and my mind have taken precedence over - hmmm, a shiny red car and size 4 body...(I know that's very difficult when one has spent many years becoming a wolf in sheep's clothing...but in this moment of peace and serenity...I yearn only for wholeness in body, mind and spirit). This transformation is an ongoing project that thus far has been a long and arduous process. Although, to be quite honest, it is intriguing and illuminating!!!
Listening, or the Art of...requires that one listen with every fiber of their being. (look at the picture above...hmm...cats sense the world around them with every hair on their body)...that's what listening is becoming for me...well, except I'm not a cat. But my point is we can learn to listen with out whole bodies too. The first thing I had to do was stop the roaring in my head. This is where meditation has been critical. A major hurdle I had to overcome was always having a response. Most of my responses were defense mechanisms and had nothing to do with what someone else was actually saying...I was passing judgement based on my own personal experiences or espousing things just to fix you and even just so I would have an answer! This is not true listening. Meditation has given me space, cleared away the wreckage of my past thinking so that I can listen, discern and present you with my whole self. Am I good at it...um....can I have a B+ ?
There's much more to listening than being aware of the words another is speaking. A very important part of communication is "subtext". That's where someone body language is speaking volumes...for example, if your back is turned and someone says "have a nice day"...you might assume they are sincere. However, if you'd been looking at their facial expressions (which for this example was a head bombing smirky expression kind of look)...then you'd reconsider your assumption of sincerity and place the salutation in another file - perhaps in the "this person is upset with me and I wonder why file". There are other cues too that are not so obvious, like what part of your body is the "language" resonating in...heart to heart? mind to mind? Where is the communication pinging in you....and do not get me started on how hard it was to learn to trust my own judgement that a lot and I mean a lot of people are not being as honest as you are! I'll give them this, perhaps they don't know what they're carrying their subconscious...but some of us get it! There's also this nifty little tool called clarifying which I've found some people do not like to do, but hey it lets us, the listener off of the hook if we ask for clarity because we don't think we understand something being communicated. Clarifying is where you repeat back what you think you've heard and then the person can validate your understanding or CLARIFY!!!
The ART of LISTENING is a subtle art full of beauty and magic. It requires skill and finesse. I'm beginning to enjoy it! But without meditation, you'd still all sound like the Charlie Brown teacher to me...wah wah wah wah wah!
Blessings!
