LET IT BE... the Beattles
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
I began today with my favorite routine. Stumbling downstairs, falling into the hot tub, sipping coffee, petting the cat and dog, following the beckoning call of my Higher Power up the stairs and into my meditation room. After prayer, I did a warm up, my favorite Kriya "Subtle Knowing". As I have probably already said, I do this particular Kriya more often than any other because it is powerful. The heightened intuition is very affirming. It allows for me to catch those intuitive aspects of nature that often times seems just beyond my grasp. I spent many years not paying attention to the subtle nuances of life and it caused me much pain and suffering to know that I somehow wasn't not present in the moments that others needed me. Today, I embrace that aspect of life that is just beyond the realm of rational knowing. I am better off for it, and hopefully I am planting seeds of hope in the lives of those I encounter. But this Kriya would not be complete without meditation.
So down onto the floor I sat ...in easy pose...poised for the journey into the valley of my soul. It seems as though I am becoming dependent on my faithful spirit guide Lagan. To say I understand this relationship in any way shape or form would be so far from the truth! However, I do implicitly trust the nature of it. So far this journey has brought me nothing but wisdom. Whether in the form of completing task through soul work, mental imagery, music, life lessons, and my favorite - wisdom in the form of phrases unique to my own psyche. It's truly a blessing to be having such a wonderful experience. A virtue I have not happened upon on my path is gratitude...but on another path one that runs parallel to my internal reality today gratitude is at the forefront of my consciousness. This mirroring of internal reality verses external reality may perhaps be the first solid step towards balance I've ever taken. Not to say that I haven't had some semblance of balance in my life at times, but this is the first time I have consciously made a connection in words and actions.
Oh, no...here comes a story...About twenty years ago, I found myself irritable, restless and discontent. After seeking much needed help I began the first leg of my present journey. I must note here that I got off track so very many times, and once for an extended period, I crashed and burned...thankfully with much love and guidance I got back on my current path. But I digress...the point is that back then, I truly had one reference for this thing called balance. I can remember first trying to practice balance. It literally consisted of me picturing a level in my head...the kind my father used to make sure his antique clocks were balanced! I use to walk around when I felt chaotic inside due to my own warped thinking or external stimuli picturing a pocket level in the center of my forehead...the place I now know is my third eye. I'm not sure if I've explained third eye to you so briefly your third eye is your inner eye. It is located in the center of your brows about one fingertip up. It's a mystical concept of a gate that leads to your inner realm and higher consciousness. It is believed to be the seat of our pineal gland which produces Dimethyltryptamine, an agent necessary for meditation. The highest pineal gland is thought to be the main contributing factor in our human ability to have psychic experiences. Twenty years ago, I would have found such a notion blasphemous. Mostly I would have been afraid. Today, I trust this process...it makes sense, it explains why my entire life I have had psychic experiences. So today balance is not a visual image of a pocket level! It is the moments of time where my internal reality and external reality are mirrored. The balance of which I speak is inner peace. Which leads me to a question I can not answer - if someone is chaotic internally and externally are they not balanced as well? hmmm...another question to ponder.
Ok, I so got off track a bit. Back to my meditation. I had some inner turmoil this weekend brought on by external stimuli. I was anxious for Lagan to guide me to new discoveries today so when he set "into the lake"...I readily agreed and off we went for a dive into the dark murky water of my subconscious. As I swam searching for clues to my turmoil, I was aware of the potential danger in this particular journey. Several years ago, I went on this journey with a psychotherapist using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It was not successful to my knowledge. So I wanted to see and trusted Lagan so much that I searched in my subconscious expecting answers! What I found was a thorn in my psyche, one that had become so badly embedded that it had festered and become very sore. I reached over and pulled it out, just as you'd pull an infected aching splinter out of your foot. Faint images flashed into my conscious awareness, faint memories of physical , psychological and emotional trauma flooded into my minds eye and receded as quickly as they had come. The song "Let It Be" played loudly on the music box of my soul and I came up out of the water and sat for awhile under the Bodhi Tree with Lagan by my side.
After a while we walked onto the path. And you guessed it. I got another present. Now I don't know if you've read this blog in order, but when I first got a basket I thought it was wonderful...goody goody I got a virtue and it was a good feeling. Now the feeling is wonderful because it's like I have to work for them! They are still gifts in that I don't do the work expecting anything except understanding! Today I saw a rainbow, which means my Chakras are balanced (hence the coloring of the attached image) and in the basket there were three virtues...peace, love and happiness. Peace as in silence or stillness, love as in infused with a feeling of deep affection and happiness as in pleasure contentment and joy.
I sit and write in awe, as I have found something today that I have looked for my entire life. Tears spill onto my keyboard...a lump swells in my throat..today I struck the mother load! A gift from the universe...I have found a slice of heaven in the valley of my soul. It's called happiness. Happiness a direct result of stilling and quieting my mind. Happiness as a result of loving others has allowed me just for today to love myself. I'm happy...
