People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
For today's meditation, I tried a meditation that I learned 21 years ago. The guided meditation I did today was about letting go. I did try a guided meditation earlier this week, but it was a very different type as it involved most of the elements you normally here me speak of - chakra's, energy, spirit... The way I practiced today, was the very first meditation I ever learned.
I will never forget that day, December 1, 1989. My life changed forever that day. A man came into an institution I was occupying! (it's another story for another day!!!) The man said he wanted to teach my group something that had radically altered his life. He called it meditation. I've shared before in my blogs that I grew up Christian and meditation was what we did for a moment before reciting prayers. This man, Mr. Brady, was like me...he had struggled with addictions to various substances and had found peace with his faith. He told us his life story and asked us if we'd like to learn to meditate. It was more a matter of being nice, as we really didn't have a choice but to learn.
We, the 40 people in my group, sat as instructed in our chairs with our feet flat on the floor and our hands laying in our laps not touching. Mr. Brady's voice was very soothing. He suggested that we close our eyes. I remember closing my eyes and being apprehensive. I was very adverse to brain washing or being lead anywhere! I was doing it my way...and my way was a mess....but it was MY WAY. He said, "I know some of you are apprehensive...but I only share my experience, strength and hope." HOPE? That's what I needed. So I listened a little bit harder. He cooed at the group as we sat with our eyes closed...or at least mine were. "breathe, in and out, slowly, watch your breathe as you inhale and exhale, you will begin to feel relaxed" He started at the toes, "relax your toes, ( and I giggled), he went up the legs, to the buttocks (I was embarrassed that others were in the room with me relaxing my buttocks - I was very young!!), up to the shoulders, neck, and head. Slowly he spoke instructing us to relax deeper and deeper. I began to feel lighter, physically less heavy.
The he told us that we were going to us our imaginations like we'd done when we were children.This part fascinated me! He said to imagine a red balloon about 5 feet in diameter in front of us. The red balloon was attached to either our right or left arm by a string. In the balloon we placed our anger, resentments, greed, lust...character defect and troubles...we untied the balloon from our wrist and in our minds eye we watched the red balloon float away. Further and further away...until the balloon was out of sight. I saw the balloon get smaller and smaller and smaller, then all I could see was sky. Unaware of others in the room, unaware of breathing...unaware!
Then we visualized an escalator going down. I got onto the escalator as he counted down 10, 9...2, 1...at the bottom of the escalator were white fluffy clouds. Cool, peaceful, serene. He brought us back to consciousness, we stretched, I bought a tape...and never saw him again!
Today, I found that old tape, funny - we don't use those anymore! After scurrying around the house, I found a tape player! It worked. I seated myself in my meditation room and listened to the soothing sound of his voice 21 years later...I put all my troubles in the balloon and let them float away...I rode down the escalator into the white fluffy clouds and felt the coolness envelope me. It was like floating around on cotton candy! For just a moment I felt at peace.
Then I continued my day of life on life's term. Practicing the art of letting go...and learned that saying the serenity prayer a dozen times in an hour...never hurt anyone.
Thank you Mr.Brady...wherever you are! For giving me the gift of meditation...it took me a couple of decades...but I finally get it. Just for today, I can let go in a different way!
