Hm pf! And I thought this New Years journey was going to be
a snap...looks like it's going to be quiet lengthy and may even be
enlightening.
Today, as with the past three days, I began my day with prayer, warm up, kriya and meditation. Fabulous beginning to a new day. Seems as though I am getting more that I bargained for. That's not a bad thing. It's actually quite an adventure. The disciplines leading up to the meditation all serve important functions in preparing my body, mind and spirit for the journey inward. Without them I would be ever so jumpy! You know - mind racing, foot tapping, body squirming, finger chewing, mind racing...oh, I already mentioned that one didn't I? Hopefully, you are beginning to get the picture of not only my external life, but you are truly getting to see how unmanageable my interior life is too.
So, about 11 minutes (that's one of the necessary level for a change in consciousness) into my meditation, you guessed it - I met the kind creature who has decided to help me. I've tried to think of a name for him but a suitable one hasn't come to me - yet. He's very petite in stature, his energy is calming but strong. His words are simple and encouraging. I wanted to run along the path and discover more virtues in that baskets but he had different plans. As he took my hand I felt afraid. I wondered where he was leading me. "Fear is not a virtue", he said with a soothing sideways glance. He lead me to a wooden bridge that stretched across the lake where I saw previously saw a beast rise it's head. I was scared to look into the water but am starting to understand that the darkness has to be explored. C.G. Jung said, "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people." Hmpf...we'll see about that.
We, the creature and I, sat on the bridge with our feet dangling through the slats. As I looked into the dark murky water it began to clear. "There is nothing to fear, there is no darkness inside of you that forgiveness can't cure." This puzzled me. I thought I was just doing a meditation to calm my body and mind but now I'm on an adventure filled with character development issues. He grinned and nodded a knowing smile. But I don't know what any of this means. I looked out across the lake and the landscape changed from muted tones of gray and greens to subtle shades of yellow. Sometimes, like this morning, I have to scan my body to recall the colors of the chakras, R.O.Y.G.B.I.V. Yellow is the color of the root chakra. It's seat is the solar plexus. Parts of the consciousness associated with this chakra include perceptions concerned with power, control, freedom, the ease with which one is able to be themselves - ease of being. Mental activity and the mental body is also associated with this chakra. The solar plexus chakra is also associated with the level of being we call the personality, or ego. It is a color signifying intelligence and it's very soothing...like the creatures voice and demeanor.
So, I am wandering around a flat land on a dirt path beside a lake with a creature that has no name. I am discovering parts of myself that I did not even know existed. I am utilizing imagination - imagery, intellect - cognitive recall function and spiritual disciplines. And it just dawned on me that the other day in the lake I thought I saw ego, but changed my mind to go deeper into id where the darkness is. But when I looked in the darkness today, I saw clear or clarity but don't yet have any. It is that I am supposed to figure out the answers by myself? And to top it all off as I came out of this land two songs came to me..."Love Stinks" and "..guilty feet have got now rhythm." Ayyeyyeeeiii....so I am slightly confused, determined and persevering. Today, I will try to not be afraid of the darkness, I will try to listen closer to the still small voice within and I will let you know if anything new develops on this particular meditation.
