Two weeks ago, I found out that one of my twins has bone cancer (osteogenicsarcoma). Last week, he began his first round of chemotherapy (he's coping with the courage and strength of a great warrior). We're swimming against the most violent current of life that I've yet to face. Emotions from anger and rage to absolute numbness have pulsed non stop through my being! Meditation is still in fore front of my minds eye and a part of my daily self care. But, I've yet to gain much relief from the overwhelming sensation of stress that comes from knowing - my son has a very tough road ahead to make it to the ranks of cancer survivor!
Often when meditating I gain a peaceful sense of floating. It's as if I were riding in a raft above the sea of self, a pleasant sensation flows throughout my entire being and I am at one with the universe. Lately, I feel as though I were dumped out of the raft into treacherous white water and no one can throw the safety line within reach! My emotions are churning and extremely turbulent, the current taking me where it wants. My raft mates are flailing out of reach and I greatly fear for their lives.
Life comes at you fast! No matter how prepared you are you can never account for all the variables - mother natures rath is unpredictable. Two weeks ago, I sat in stillness and heard the words "bone cancer" so I made my son a Dr.'s appointment. Did it help to have a feeling of what was to come? Perhaps but the current is strong and moving swiftly. We are grateful for the love and support that we have received from our religious community, neighbors and friends!
