A BLADE OF GRASS
by:Brian Patten
You ask for a poem. I offer you a blade of grass.
You say it is not enough. You ask for a poem.
I say this blade of grass will do. It has dressed itself in frost,
It is more immediate than any image of my own making.
You say it is not a poem, it is a blade of grass and grass
is not quite good enough. I offer you a blade of grass.
You are indignant, you say it is too easy to offer grass.
It is absurd. Anyone can offer a blade grass.
You ask for a poem. And so I write you a tragedy about
How a blade of grass becomes more and more difficult to offer,
And about how as you grow older A blade of grass
becomes more difficult to accept.
As a young girl my father would sit in the grass and "magically" find four leaf clovers. Many times over my childhood we had this very special moment of my wandering all over the yard in search of that coveted prize of a lucky clover with four beautiful leaves. He found many in the moments that we spent in the yard while I - found none. Several years ago I sat in my backyard watching my sons play my mind wandered to the innocence of my own youth. I began to wander all over my backyard hunting and pecking for four leaf clovers, then I heard my fathers voice..."sit down, be still, they are right in front of you". In my minds eye I saw my father sitting intently still and focused on the patch of grass directly in front of him. I saw him raise his hand to present me with his latest find, a perfect four leaf clover. In that moment - I understood in one of those mind warping ways that I'd probably never find a four leaf clover while darting all about to various patches of grass. But, if I'd sit intently and focus on the patch in front of me I might just find one. So, I tried it, what do you know? I found my first four leaf clover. You'd have thought I found a piece of gold, for to me finding a four leaf clover was just as awe inspiring!
This morning I reached to intellectually grasp the meaning of my meditative journey I recalled this memory I have just shared with you. In searching for a meaning to the phrase "life is between the blades of grass" given to me during my meditation, I came across the poem "Blades of Grass" by Brian Patten.
My day began in the most pleasant way for me. I awoke and stumbled downstairs in search of coffee. Once I acquired just a sip of caffeine my body awakened more fully and I tromped across my snow covered back deck slipping into the soothing 105 degree water of life - better known as my hot tub. I watched with amusement as my dog gingerly stepped through the snow, she kept looking back at might as if asking for permission to play in the cold white fluff that covered the landscape. The cat meowed from her cozy abode on the screened porch and was coaxed to my waiting hand. My amusement was piqued by the dogs adamant display of jealousy. PeeWee, my Dalmatian, did not like my petting the cat! PeeWee barked as to threaten Raindrop into retreating so that she could garner my affection! So this is how my day began...amusement, warmth, snow falling gently to the ground.
After willing myself from the comfort of my hot tub I walked upstairs to my meditation room. Out of respect, I apologized for my tardiness...I'm not sure if the universe keeps time? But I was later than normal and so appreciate the gifts that I've been given in life, that I wanted to cover all of my bases. Prayer was filled with intent. I prayed to be a channel of love, and understanding. I prayed for the strength to listen. I prayed again to understand my calling in life. There were no questions asked of me, I was however reminded to let life unfold like a flower! Another reminder I was given was that in language there is power. At first I thought of big words...you know like superfluous and cacophony, decadent and nubilate, but that's not what power the Universe was speaking of. Language and it's power lie rooted in our hearts. Words of love and encouragement compelled from our heart center resonate with a power that "big words" will never touch!
Instead of doing a Kriya today, I decided to just listen! My meditative journey was expansive. There was no grasping, just pure childlike delight of being on a quest. The quest I seek today in the Valley of My Soul is one of truth, understand and grace. Lagan came to guide me! Instead of leading me, instead of holding my hand, he seems to have moved behind me gently nudging along my path. He reminded me of my constant prayer for a calling and suggested I jump into the lake of my sub-conscious to perhaps unblock a channel. At first, I was afraid, my conscious mind raced to thoughts of nothingness. - Maybe there was no calling for me...maybe I should just leave this one alone! But it is not my nature to run from fear...it is my inherent nature to SEEK. So off into the lake I went with Lagan trailing behind. I moved many boulders looking for the right channel. What I found was childhood messages...messages that left thin scars over my psyche. "You will be the fat lady of the circus when you grow up if you continue to eat like that." "You aren't going to be anything when you grow up." "You aren't as smart as so and so." "You will not go far in life because apples do not fall far from the tree." And then I knew, the block - the boulder is one of my own making! I long ago out of resignation and irresponsibility decided to go through life being carried by others. But several years ago due to much pain realized that all I had to do was change the thought..." For example, "Apple don't fall far from the tree, they ROLL!!!" I feel as though I need to note here that I am not disparaging in any way the deliverer of those negative messages. If each were put into their appropriate context with a mature perspective much validity could be found in each!
There was no channel today in which I found the answer to my life's calling. Only many memories of past experiences, 100's of jobs, education, rational understanding and a plethora of intuitive experiences. With this I was reminded to remember my truest gift...the one I often have a hard time embracing, my EXTRA SENSORY PERCEPTION. (was that loud enough for ya?) As I climbed onto the bank beside the lake it was suggested that I rest under the Bodhi Tree. Sitting there...pondering the beauty in the valley. God spoke to me..."the answer isn't in the blades of grass, the answer is what's in between!" And again, my mind turned to peek around a corner! I have no reference for this meaning! In between moments? In between breaths? In between life and death? I mean we're seriously talking a vast expanse of answers hear! Then I heard the voice again, "Let life unfold like a flower, answers will come. As your character develops you will know which path to choose." Like WOW, I've done a lot of mind enhancing substances in my time, but none can come close to this truth, this reality!
Lagan and I walked the path and I climbed to the top of the mountain again! No slips, no falls, no fears! As we sat looking out over the valley he explained that everything has a cycle, a beginning and an end. The seasons changed before me. The water evaporated and came down. The flowers bloomed and died. And another element of knowing was added to my life. When the flower blooms and dies it drops seeds, the seeds are what bloom. Not the same exact flower again. I don't have to practice insanity today, "doing the same thing over and over again," for in the insanity there is no fruit! And I was brought back to consciousness by the sound of my wanting children! Left to ponder life between the blades of grass!
Peace
