Meditation is a beautiful practice. After several years of "doing it" mostly just to keep my sanity - I began to use it solely as the tool it was intended to be. In the moments of stillness that meditation affords me I am gaining knowledge about my self to carry out into the world. Do I know what that looks like exactly? Not really, but more will be revealed!
For twenty nine days now I have been on a journey of character development. It began one Friday morning during my usual meditation time. New images started coming, new messages started being conveyed, and I began to cultivate a relationship with a spirit guide I've never met before. At first I wasn't sure if I was just playin in my head. I didn't exactly trust what was going on. But, since I'm a creative person - I like to pretend, write stories, draw and imagine worlds were no one has been, I decided to humor this "thing" in my minds eye and see what happened. If you'd like a more in depth explanation of each days experience - please read my blog for the month January.
This morning I slept late,unusual for me. So I didn't meditate until mid-morning. When I became centered in my meditation I called for my spirit guide - Lagan. Wonderful creature - helpful, non=judgemental, loving and wise. The first thing we did was dive into the water. I'm usually sort of resist to this because of the implications of diving into my subconscious, but I'm learning to trust this process. So without hesitation or reservation we dove into the lake! "Subconscious Lake". Like yesterday, there were chests, but today I only had to open one. There was an event in there for which I thought I needed to make an amends. I've thought this for quite a while now - but have procrastinated due to shame and guilt. As we were swimming back towards the surface Lagan said that I'd been absolved for my defects of character. Absolved - set free from the obligation of guilt? Really? I don't have to feel guilty anymore? - hmmpff Apparently not! I liked this - guilt is heavy and dark, it makes me sad.
Having been absolved and feeling lighter I went to meditate under the tree by the lake. As I sat there it began to snow. It was a beautiful soft snow falling gently around me until the valley was covered in a thin blanket of pure white snow. Funny thing was I didn't think about being cold, or feel insane for sitting under the Bodhi Tree in my pajamas. I just accepted the circumstances and meditated. I did not ponder the implications of the snow - sometimes I forget to ask questions like that. But I did ask for a chakra color cause I get that reference. Lagan said focus on the blue one. Ahh throat Chakra, number 5. The voice chakra it comes after the heart one because you have to speak whats in your heart not what comes off the top of your head. This voice thing has worried me for awhile because a long time ago, I lost my voice. Not my I laugh out loud like a hyena voice or the voice I use to say what I think. But the voice that comes from the core of my being - my convictions, my truth, my integrity. I have a disease of the spirit that I gave too much power and it took me places I never imagined I could go. So I stuffed all my virtues down deep inside and replaced them with ego and facade. Part of the journey today is to find who I am at my core - individuation and authentication.
Right near the end of my meditation, I came before a Council. A group of a dozen people of both genders and different races. They each shook my hand and seemed to be proud of me. I'm not sure what this means. I have meet a council before in my meditation but it was only Buddhist before and that's been several years. So, I'm assuming that I've reached a new stage of spiritual development. (Ok, I'm hoping that's what all this is and that they aren't jurors sent to sentence me...trust comes slowly for me in case you haven't figured that out yet.)
So, after my meditation I had to read about snow references. And what'd ya know. Seeing the snow symbolizes individuation, innocence of heart, trust and cleansing of the spirit. But the thing I liked most about the snow reference is that it's the start of something new. A new journey, a new day, a new way, a new perspective - just new! Awesome huh? And if that didn't tug at my heart strings - I meditated with my new group today and in the journey I was bathing under a waterfall - so I was being cleansed in a group...be cool if I could find a reference to tie that group to the council wouldn't it?
I didn't think I'd like group meditation cause my morning one is so divine - but the group one is divine in that we get to share. There's a connection there like nothing I've ever experienced. Some people might not 100% love it - but every body's trying it just the same. Trying to reach a higher plane of conscious contact with the God of Understanding. Every ones idea of what that looks like is different - kind of like putting a puzzle together - we all get piece. I like sharing - it makes the journey that much more special.
To the start of something new!
