According to Freud,
“
...The ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world ... The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions ... in its relation to the id it is like a man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse; with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength, while the ego uses borrowed forces [Freud, The Ego and the Id (1923)]
This morning, I began my daily discipline of prayer and meditation by first praying in English the prayer of St. Francis, "Make me a channel...", then, I prayer in Sanskrit, Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo, "I call upon the divine inner wisdom...", next I did an energizing warm up with a breath of fire for several minutes. The warm up was completed with series of movements for ego eradication. This is my favorite part of the warm up because it's the thing I struggle with most. To rid myself of my ego - reactiveness, defensiveness and the ability to see myself in a more realistic light would seem to allow for a more peaceful existence.
Next I began my favorite Kundalini (basically it means an unlocking of the creative potential that already exists in every human!) Yoga Kriya (Sanskrit for "action, deed, effort"), WAHE GURU - is the specific mantra I use, it is the expression of indescribable ecstasy, of union with the infinite. This Kriya works on the subtle body. When the subtle body is strong, you are calm and masterful. I choose this one because it enhances the tremendous gift of intuition that I already posses. After completing the Kriya I did my relaxation of lying on my back in corpse pose. Of course, I could stay there and daydream for hours! But I was drawn to my meditation. The warm up and Kriya and essential components for meditating. They align my body with my head and heart.
The meditation I most often choose is a simple meditation for focus and sweetness. It is very specific and allows for training of my monkey mind. You know the kind that wants you to go, do, have to , need to - whenever you want to sit and meditate! It nurtures the ability to concentrate in action. Rather than to be reactive in life situations, it helps me to respond with a penetrating focus tempered with sweetness. Because of the posture of sitting in lotus and feeling your pulse it is easy for me to maintain. On the beat of my pulse I say silently Sat Nam which literally means truth manifested!
But to think that I sit for the necessary time period without struggle would be - not truth! My mind wanders as I meditate to the rhythm of my pulse. When I draw my energy back to my breathing and pulse I become calm. Sometimes, I let my mind wander. Today, I found myself on the path I was on during yesterdays meditation. So here is where the story part of my day really began! On the dirt path I saw to my right a huge body of water and out of the water rose a large beast. I became frightened and began to run along the path to distance myself from the beast. In the distance I saw a basket beside the path and ran to open the lid. A cobra came hissing up at me and I jumped...startled and again - afraid. As I took off running again all small creature came out of the woods. His voice was soothing and he felt friendly so, I began to listen to him. He was a guide of sorts kind of a "Yodaish" looking creature. He told me to slow down and observe the next basket and tell him what I saw. The second basket looked similar to the first in size and design but its color was green. I scanned my body for chakra colors - you know, red, orange, yellow, green - ah, green, the heart chakra. Does this mean envy ? "Yes", he said...so now, I'm back on the path of character development? "Trust your intuition". I scanned my body then scanned the basket - I didn't see any snakes, I wasn't afraid, I was curious and removed the lid. Inside I found kindness. A virtue? "Yes, It is impossible to feel envy and kindness towards the same person at the same time."
I'm sure you're asking yourself what I'm talking about. I wasn't exactly sure until I began to share this meditation with another. Actually it only came to fruition as I researched the beast in the water and learned that the beast represented my ego or my conscious awareness. I knew that being in the water represented subconscious thought but to see the beast at a distance rising up out of the water was a new image. Initially, I postured that I was running from my own ego because I tend to see my ego as dangerous. But now, I'm not entirely convinced that ego is all bad. In fact, as I puzzled over the image above, the symbolism of my mediation guides "maleness" has drawn me to a different conclusion. If on my path I am finding character development then it would be my super ego that has come into play. The super ego stands in opposition to the id. The super ego is where spiritual principle reside. Where the id is completely under the water (unconscious) in the dark! The super ego holds the ego ideal (or ideal ego) it is "an image of the perfect self towards which the ego should aspire! So, just for today my understanding of my ego as a beast, has been altered. The beast lies in the darkness - or as Carl Jung said, the shadows. And today, I will not be afraid of the shadows. I will expose them to the light of kindness!
